Why we first read Fifty Shades of Gray and then have cuddly sex
It all started with a slightly ... well ... crazy fanfiction. Erica Leonard - that's the name of E. L. James in real life - was intrigued by the Twilight saga and wrote Edward and Bella a few more explicit scenes. This then uploaded them in a fanfiction forum. It was not long before she found fans on the internet. A publisher became aware, changed the names of Edward and Bella into Christian Gray and Anastasia Steel, and released the story of Erica as an eBook. We all know the end of the author's tale: For a seven-figure sum, a large publishing house finally bought the print rights and nevertheless made a profit at the end. Because no book has ever circulated so fast in the world as "Fifty Shades of Gray" - not even Harry Potter.
So are we all secretly on whips?
Have we all just been waiting for a book to finally be introduced to the world of whips and handcuffs? Absolutely no way! It's not like SM porn fonts have not always been there. They still exist and they are not as successful as Fifty Shades of Gray. The story of Anastasia and Christian is basically not really porn. Although the language is quite explicit and just Christian does not really take a bit to the mouth, but really the one little ears possibly reddened do not slink. No, the women's world did not need a whip porn. The secret of Fifty Shades of Gray is different.
The mega-bestseller is popping something
The fact is, Fifty Shades of Gray plays mostly with lower instincts. The submissive female submissive to the most dominant male of the pack. Then the mother instinct, which is activated by the small, needy children's version of Christian Gray. There is used in the ancient Stone Age Trickkiste. Crafty! The whole thing even with words and for women are often much more erotic than a clumsy porn film, which relies on visual stimuli. Women are a bit different in terms of eroticism than men. Arousal is more likely to be generated by imagination than by visual key stimuli in most women (there are exceptions for sure!). And what inspires the imagination better than a book?
E. L. James did not allow himself to be chained - not even of emancipation
Ann-Marlene Henning, sex therapist in Hamburg and author of the book "Make Love" explained in an interview with the star, submission is one of the most common erotic fantasies of both sexes. So, both sexes. So women want to submit to men? And in the 21st century? Are not we just about to fight for more equality as our mothers and grandmothers did? Well, that does not have to be a contradiction. Ann-Marlene Henning believes that an equal partnership and sexual practices in which one of the partners volunteers is not mutually exclusive. "The bed is the bed, and the other is the other, you can bargain." In practice, however, one's own imagination sometimes does not match the self-image that one wants to impart to one's partner. Henning says that many couples do not dare to live out their own sexual inclinations. "The biggest problem is that the topics are not on the table, people do not play, they do not dare." Aha, so why do we prefer cuddling sex than try out some plush handcuffs? Mh. Maybe a little experimentation might do us some good?
Well, not all of them think so
OK. So we should dare to give it a try what exactly appeals to Christian Gray. Roger that. But can we really give in to this thought? After all, when it comes to Fifty Shades of Gray, many women go tidily to the barricades. They criticize the mediated image of women, the sexual humiliation, the stereotypical image of aggressive male sexuality. So may we wish to play the role of the subjugated? What would Alice Schwarzer say? We think: This is definitely a matter of dispute. But does not emancipation above all mean the right to personal freedom? And is not it also the freedom to be over the knee? If only in the imagination ... And not necessarily from Christian next door.
