Why do we like to talk about diseases?

Diseases as a topic of conversation

It's a bit of an addiction, it's a guilty pleasure, once you start doing it, it's not easy to stop. And it sounds like this, a table talk with three, four distributed roles:

"What's the arm with you? "" That's where I got myself. Because of tennis elbows. "" I heard, even taping brings nothing. Well, it did not work for me. "" Simone recommended it to me? " I fancy it helps. "" Only cortisone helped me. "" It was so similar to my knee that nothing helped but Rhus Tox. "" You have to go to that physiotherapist, what's his name not yet, there go all the theatrical actors down. "" I can no longer cortisone, at most two syringes, says the doctor. "" And how long does the tape? "?" Matthias, is called. Something with Matthias. "And so on, until someone says, "Well, now we have really talked enough about diseases! "?



Then everyone laughs a little guiltily and talk about ... something else. But talking about diseases is irresistible to many.

What is it about when we talk about diseases?

It's not about cancer and AIDS, it's not about the really terrible diseases, the last things. We do not talk about them in that tone, not in that detail, not so regularly. Not with so much desire and dedication. It's funny: the adults talking about their illnesses, that's actually a childhood picture, a memory? Aunt Ilse has it now in the knee. The grandparents reported on the coffee table in tormenting detail of their consultants consultants in the spa, of mud packs and light food, each had backs, everyone had it in the back, on the hip, in the intervertebral disc.



To grow old, to talk about such trivial things for so long: At the time, that was inconceivable. But suddenly it starts, from the middle, late 40, when the wear more and with them new ailments: the heel spurs, tennis elbows, lumbar blockages, headaches and ear whistles. Nothing life threatening, that's another topic. Preference for diseases in which you suffer at a medium level for a long time, against which you can try many things and talk about as much as possible. Are we really that old? Can we think of anything better? Why are we doing that, and is it good or is it harming us?

Topic # 1: Everyday Diseases

One thing is very clear: People do not talk about anything better than about themselves, Depending on the survey, they spend about 60 to 80 percent of their talk time talking about themselves (regardless of gender, by the way). And brain researchers at Harvard University were able to use the so-called imaging techniques a few years ago to prove what everyone has always suspected or felt: People like to talk about themselves because hardly anything feels better. Because then the same regions are stimulated in the brain, which become active when people eat well, take drugs or have sex, And similarly strong.



Why are we talking so much about our woes?

One possible explanation is therefore: As you get older, you would like to talk about yourself just as you did in the past, but you have less to tell from the fields of work, love or leisure and more about illnesses. Around the 50, the topic offers ample opportunity to tell in detail about yourself. By the way, it is not bad to talk about yourself.

The communications scientist Adrian F. Ward of the University of Texas writes in the "Scientific American" that even talking about ourselves is one social function "Revealing personality can strengthen interpersonal affection and help build new social relationships." The two heel spurs in the circle of friends thus come closer to the exchange of experience with semi-elastic plastic inserts. In addition, Ward said, "talking about ourselves" leads to personal growth external feedback".

So about: You complain to friends about the fact that you can not recognize anything because presbyopia, but that you do not want to wear reading glasses, because vanity, and then everyone says that's perfectly normal, glasses are yours and nothing It is more practical, by sight, than to be able to recognize things. To acknowledge this would be personal growth through feedback on the description of one's own ailments.

We get stuck on the care floor

The problem is only: When talking about illnesses in the circle of friends and relatives, at the pub table or at the family celebration, finds a kind at best Pseudo-processing instead, says Gaby Bleichhardt of the Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy working group of the Philipps-University Marburg. She emphasizes that she does not refer to specific research or studies but to her clinical experience as a psychotherapist. There are no studies on the topic. She says: "The phenomenon that people like to talk about their illnesses in the circle of friends, is related to the fact that they like the so-called ensure level get stuck. Unlike fears, worries have a more moderate level of processing that is less emotionally affected. "

Talking about worries gives you the feeling that you are dealing constructively with a problem, but usually this is not the case, according to Bleichhardt. This kind of speech does not lead to the one who is talking merely for a momentary relief or "little liberation". "Actually, it causes one to repress emotions." And maybe that's why we like to complain about flu or heel spurs, because it's easier than saying that you feel discouraged and depressed.

However, some people benefit beyond that: those who are particularly afraid of illness. "For them, it is already very relieving to tell about their own physical symptoms, because here the interlocutor is tested without his knowledge: If he does not jump off the table right away and calling the ambulance, you are probably not really life threatening ill and calm down reinsuranceLet's call that. "

Are we even sicker when talking about diseases?

Can talking about diseases also hurt? "Of course, nothing bad happens, but it does not work, it's akin to pondering, where you're always thinking back and forth and your own thoughts loop stuck. Talking about illnesses among friends may help others to get out of it. But most of the time you just go around in circles together, and everyone is waiting for his turn to tell you about himself. "

But is not it perhaps something like an exercise a warm-up in case we have a sad reason to talk about really serious diseases? "No," says Bleichhardt. ? As I said: one? real processing of fears does not take place. It would be close ,? From a certain age to talk with close friends about these fears about the wishes for their own funeral, the nursing home and the care. But that's not fun at pub night. "

And so you just prefer to stay on the care floor. So if you like, we're sitting around the campfire our shared, unspoken fears when we talk about diseases that will not kill us, but that concern us. The tips we give each other will not really cure us.



Our own stories of suffering interest us most

The stories of suffering that we tell the others do not interest us as much as our own. But we are human and we are together and we talk. If you look around in the present, then that is already a value in itself. And possibly also that in this well-organized, efficient world we are not talking about strength, gain and betterment, but about weakness and pain.

And maybe this "getting stuck on the care floor" is not as bad as it sounds: yes, it may be that talking about small and medium-sized suffering does not bring about any improvement and that in truth we're just going around in circles. But secretly we know that, and doing it nonetheless may also mean resisting efficiency and perfectionism: We do not want a solution, we mainly want to hear ourselves talking, This is not only liberating, but refreshingly unproductive and humane.



Addiction is a disease. We should treat it like one | Michael Botticelli (March 2024).