This is how you master typical stressful situations
More appointments, always available: The hamster wheel turns in everyday life ever faster - at least many Germans feel the way, as a study of the "Techniker Krankenkasse" proves.
For two-thirds of people, the job is the biggest stress factor. However, we often stand in the way of our own claims. Here are ten strategies you can use to reduce stress in typical stress situations:
1. Finally weekend! And then there's Saturday night's quarrel with the loved one. The mood is completely in the bucket and a relaxed weekend start not to think.
This helps immediately: Let go of bad mood radically. And so: Make something beautiful and just pretend that you really enjoy the weekend. Yes, you can certainly act something. Humming in front of you, go for a walk or a swim. After only 30 minutes, the frustration is gone. Why the so-do-as-if-trick works? When we take a happy, active stance, the brain receives signals that we are well and releases happy hormones. In a good mood, the reconciliation will be easier. Absolutely important: let your loved one know before you go out. Otherwise, walking seems too dramatic!
The long-term strategy: It is a fact that many couples argue on Saturday. Not because the relationship is bad, but because after a long week, we are often in an exhausted-irritable state. So that disputes do not arise at all, it helps to withdraw at the beginning of the weekend half an hour for a Runterkomm ritual: Whether jogging round, market visit or alone in bed reading the newspaper, everything that brings peace, fits. Then you are ready for a weekend for two or with the family.
2. Is there a time tunnel in the late afternoon? I always pretend to finish work on time. Then I'm stuck to the office chair, make a thousand little things, and suddenly it's almost eight o'clock.
© Susanne SingerThis helps immediately: We do not come out of the office in the afternoon, because we have the right to "work away all the trash quickly" beforehand. The catch: It does not work. Because small stuff never stops! The completely off to-do list at the end of the day does not exist. The simplest trick to get out of the wrong attitude: Set the vibrator on the phone for half an hour before you go. Then start writing all that has been left on a list for the next day. Get together and go!
The long-term strategy: Imagine an animal that would simply go home in the afternoon. Yes, that sounds paradoxical, but try it: Is it a monkey that "simply swings to the next liana"? Or a badger, which "roofs off"? The first idea you have is good. Try to find out what makes this animal jump on time and, as in the example animals above, formulate a catchy sentence, for example "I'll break loose with the help of lion energy". Keep the picture and its sentence in mind. Call up both before the office closes. This gives many people the necessary impetus to break free.
3. In the evening or in between times to come to other thoughts, I like to go to Facebook. After that, I'm not relaxed at all, but even more nervous and upset.
This helps immediately: Scientists at the University of Berlin have found that one third of users are dissatisfied with Facebook consumption. The clenched load of positive news and announcements simply makes a bad mood. So you get rid of the lousy mood again, makes a short, deliberate break, z. Sit down on a chair and gently tap on the head with the palm of your hand, while simultaneously swirling with the other hand on your stomach for a minute. The exercise refreshes, because the coordination requires so much attention that the flow of worried thoughts is interrupted.
The long-term strategy: Facebook Diet! Since it is often an automatic mechanism to go to the computer when it is tense, it is not easy to let it go. Therefore, look for a new alternative shutdown behavior. For example, imagine To the window, eat an apple, read a funny article or call a friend. This makes it easier to crack the stubborn habit. You do not have to cancel your account - but only go to social networks once a day at a set time. And post stuff that matters to you. Because that really relaxes!
4. I like my mother. But when we talk on the phone, sometimes an odd sentence from her is enough. B. "You have to take care of it more, too," and I can not get the conversation out of my head all day long.
This helps immediately: If you notice in the conversation that a knock-out sentence has just fallen again, allow yourself the following trick: Conduct a silent self-talk.First say to yourself: "Oh, there it was again." In a second step, the question arises internally: "To whom does the sentence actually have more to do, with her or with me?" The answer is usually: with her. Now add a third sentence to your mind: "I'll send back your bad mood!" And then the topic changes in real conversation. The inner dialogue distances us from what is happening. So we can switch the ears better on passage.
The long-term strategy: If in every conversation taunts fall, actively intervenes. Represents a friendly but specific counter question, such as "What's your problem?" or "What do you mean, I do not understand". Very often our counterpart then realizes that it has crossed a border and steers. Why does the staged exchange have a relaxing effect? It has actively tackled the problem - and can therefore let go of the situation faster.
5. Actually, I would have to tell my girlfriend that I do not want to hear the stories of her annoying partner all the time. Or do not like her late coming. But I leave it in the balance and annoy me silently.
This helps immediately: Dare. Formulated the criticism as concise and friendly. And start with a positive sentence like "Basically I like you" or "You are important to me". Why the frosty introduction? Because other people can absorb the criticism much better if it is brought into a friendly, binding form.
The long-term strategy: Above all, we avoid criticism because we imagine how bad the other person will feel the moment he hears our criticism. Often we are so sorry that we remain silent. The trick is to jump over the first feeling and instead imagine how you yourself will feel after the criticism expressed day or week. Usually a proud, satisfied feeling sets in. Go with this feeling in the critical situation - then you are guaranteed to trust.
6. Sometimes when working, I can not remember where my head is. The telephone rings constantly, the boss or colleagues come in and want something. I'm totally broken in the evening and did not even manage much.
© Susanne SingerThis helps immediately: Despite the hustle and bustle, take five minutes to plan: Determine for yourself the two most important tasks of the day - points that are really relevant to your personal progress and that of the company. Exactly: These are usually not the tasks that should be done right away. Try to work on one of these points before you go to the topical stuff. This gives a good feeling of accomplishment, and you get back some of your serenity.
The long-term strategy: Try to schedule one hour of silent work a day for you, a time when you can not be disturbed and work. How it works? If you have a telephone presence, talk with the colleague for one hour (and change afterwards). Speaking of the important projects that should be done, talk to the boss about what time you can block. Such seemingly artificial arrangements are well received - and soon find imitators!
7. In the morning with us in the family is always the total chaos. Bicycle helmets are missing, we stand in line in front of the bathroom, the cell phone is gone and the mood is so irritated that you swear every day: Tomorrow will be different. Of course it is the same again the next day.
This helps immediately: When morning sinks into chaos, there is no turning back. Admit that the start of the day has failed. And try to smile about it. Strangely, that relieves the tension. If the laugh gets stuck in your throat, read the children's book "Hurry up, Willi Wiberg!" by Gunilla Bergström. You will recognize each other and smile.
The long-term strategy: Hard, but helps: First, the parents are completely ready for the day, then you wake the children. If you and your partner have to get up 20 minutes earlier than before, it's worth it. Because chaos in the morning comes up especially because everyone is looking for and rummaging. However, if adults already have the packed files and handbags in the hallway, 50 percent of the hectic rush is already in the run out.
8. "Yeah, sure, I'll do it!", I often hear myself say immediately. This is the same in the company as it is at home. At first everything feels good. But then it gets too much, and I'm insane.
This helps immediately: So you outsmart your enthusiasm: As soon as you are asked for an interesting project or your girlfriend asks you for help, you say: "Klaro - but I have to think about it for a second, I'll get back to you later." Then consider in peace whether the task is worthwhile or if you really have the time and desire to support your girlfriend. With the little thinking break you get a much better feeling for whether a thing really fits for you. And then it's easier to call "yes" or "no, that does not fit!" accept.
The long-term strategy: Those who say yes to everything often do not know exactly what is really important to them.How to find out? A simple exercise helps: Imagine your 80th birthday. You invited friends, family and former colleagues. Two people present a nice speech to you. What should they say? "As a colleague, I especially appreciated her because she ..." "As a mother, she was always for me ..." Write down a few sentences that you would put into the speakers' mouths. Now take a look at her short speeches. Which three values are important for you? Maybe a certain straightforwardness? Or honesty? Freedom? Friendship? Keeping one's goals in mind? Make a mini-list of your core values. Whenever a request is made to you, look at this list and check if and how the task fits your inner compass of values. Then it will be much easier for you to decide when you really want to "Yes, I'll do it!" want to say and when rather "no".
9. Basically, I know exactly how well I feel when I meet a friend for a glass of wine in the evening. Often, my evening still looks like this: I'm tired, stay home, spend the whole evening tinkering around the flat or watching TV. That's not really relaxing.
© Susanne SingerThis works immediately: The jour fixe for pleasure. Make a regular date with your girlfriend. And then definitely go, even if you feel tired. Because usually this type of stress-fatigue flies at the first step in front of the door.
The long-term strategy: If you have already tried all the tricks of self-deception and still sticking to the couch like Pattex, you might want to reconsider your girlfriends' get-togethers. Sometimes you are stuck in old rituals, for example, you always meet for talking - but actually bored for a long time. Try something new: explore a new district together on foot, sail through the city on a tour boat or spontaneously visit a vernissage. All this fits in with an appointment of two hours. One always thinks that this is much more complicated.
10. At work, the mood is just bad. That bothers me so much that my thoughts on the weekend are all about it.
This helps immediately: To just forbid the pondering almost never works. Working better: consciously doing beautiful things in times of worry. A trick: Write down a list of your passions - just write down ten to twenty things that you like to do. Do not think much, write little things (drinking coffee) as well as great passions (trip around the world). Get your mind off your list in times of dull times - have coffee with friends or plan your world tour. This aligns your inner life again with the here and now and the beauty of life - and dispels the brooding.
The long-term strategy: Our brain rates negative thoughts as much more important than positive ones. That's why we get stuck so fast in the Grübelspiralen. A job journal can help bring clarity to your worries in the long run - and open your eyes to solution ideas. Write down every evening for five to ten minutes in short bullet points, what stressed you in the job and what you have been looking forward to. After two weeks, you leaf through your notes. You will immediately see what is biting your nerves. Now think about what you can do to tackle the problem. Address the conflict? Ask the boss for help with the tricky task? If you fear for your job, you should actively think about a "Plan B". It can be enormously denied to have alternatives to today's job in your head. But be careful: spend a fixed amount of time with yourself, for example, collecting ideas for jobs that interest you for an hour.
