Long before the birth I had read in relevant forums about the bad habit of "family bed". Aha, the baby does not sleep in his own SNIGLAR, SUNDVIK or HENSVIK, but in the parents' MALM?

"Such an esoteric fart, the child needs his own bed",

I thought and stroked proudly over the sweat-soaked beech sticks of the newly-made baby crib.

Our blog favorite: Markus Tschannen is one of about 6 authors who write about her life as a parent in the Swiss Mamablog (which is also a papablog). This is often very funny, sometimes serious and always honest and great written.

To anticipate it right away: Our Brecht has been sleeping with us since his birth 15 months ago in the "family bed". No, I do not believe today that pack sleeping is important for family bonding. The Brecht has simply taken what he is not entitled to. He behaved so badly falling asleep and breastfeeding that he had broken our will within a short time.

Tired we let him fall asleep in our bed: "We can get him back to his own bed after weaning." HA! HA! HA!

The cot ends up in the fire

Of course, the Brecht did not let go of his privileges. Falling asleep in his own bed? It does not work. Rüberhieven after falling asleep? Notices the Brecht after exactly five minutes. We are at a loss, have buried our hopes and the baby bed in the fireplace (Swiss for: Kamin, the Red.) burned.

The complaints could end here, but no: Our resignation is not enough for Brecht. He also humbles us every night:

• When falling asleep, he tramples on a parent of his choice. This procedure takes about three quarters of an hour and must not be interrupted under any circumstances.
• Immidiatly after ? fallen asleep by now? he urges the other parent out of bed by skilful rolling. Rolling back is not possible. That would evoke Brecht's unruly wrath.
• In his particularly sadistic phases (two to three times a night, more often at full moon), he turns at right angles to us and rows with all his extremities.

Accordingly, we parents spend the nights by balancing our bodies as possible on the edge of the bed to save space. Always in fear of the brusque rolling of a waving baby body.

The family bed as a demonstration of power

The family bed now seems like a demonstration of power to our baby: "I want it that way and you can not do anything about it LOL!" Presumably, this behavior is the first taste of a toddler who has inherited too many genes from his stubborn father. Maybe it's just the just punishment, because after the second night we said how well our baby slept through. We fools. With a hysterically laughing and a hysterically crying eye, I think back to this beautiful time after birth.

There are also benefits

For the sake of completeness, I also want to briefly mention the advantages of the family bed:

• You do not have to get up at night. All necessary manipulations on the baby can be carried out lying in half asleep. We are now so good that we even lie to change the fixed sheet.
• If you are fed up, you turn away cursing to inform the partner that he should take care of the problem. At night in the family bed there are no friends, only enemies (and after turning away a few kicks in the back).
• From time to time (every few weeks for a maximum of two minutes) you can watch the peacefully sleeping baby and enjoy close up to his happy face.

The bottom line is that the family bed remains an uncomfortable ordeal. The best Tempur Superflex innerspring 17-zone mattress will not help if the baby leaves only the zippers on the removable allergy-free cover as a sleeping area. How to choose the family bed voluntarily is beyond me (read the mamablog posting "Family Bed: Sex, Let It Go!").

The problems do not solve themselves at some point. On the contrary: The Brecht is getting stronger (kicking), heavier (body check) and longer (cross-lying). My size calculations showed that at the age of 12 he would be able to use the entire mattress even when motionless, and at the age of 14 he would occupy the entire bedroom. (I have to recalculate that, though.)

As in the past, it definitely will not continue. There is nothing left for us to do but reach for the utmost, brutal as it may sound. As a parent we have to be consistent: My wife has been sleeping on the sofa for a week and I rolled up on the floor on VYSSA SNOSA 120 x 60.

Text by Markus Tschannen, originally published on //blog.tagesanzeiger.ch

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