The crying child in the crib? and why it breaks my heart

Our blog favorite: Senta is 29 and still a bloggers newbie - in the mum world but already an old hand, because she is currently expecting her third child. She currently suffers from her own words terrible pregnancy dementia. That she can still write so well fills us with honest reverence. We look forward to more texts from her!

I have to write something of the soul. I watched something again this morning, which leaves me no peace. But first of all our experience with the kindergarten:

My two children came to the nursery at the age of 1.5. On the one hand for financial reasons, on the other hand, because my representation threw in the towel early and I was brought back from parental leave. Through relocations I have met a total of three different facilities and thus also different ways of working and concepts.

I was lucky ?

Yes, I really did. Because it was clear to me from the beginning: If my children do not want to stay in the crib, then I take them out again. It would not have been that easy. I should have quit my job and we had to deal with heavy financial losses.

Good that I never had to resort to it. Because both were easy to settle in and usually went to the kindergarten very happy. And if that was not the case, we were looking for a solution. Either we stayed at home or I stayed in the facility a bit.

Children's wines? the history

This morning I was late. We overslept, and when we arrive at kindergarten, most of the kids are already there. From the parking lot I hear already bitter crying of a little boy in the crib. I do not know the boy and suppose he has to be one of the new kids. The mother of the little one has just said goodbye and is still in front of the information board and reads. The child stands behind the closed glass door and cries and cries? Well, actually he is screaming.

After some time, the mother goes. She does not turn around anymore. My daughter undresses and we open the door. The little boy is being held so he can not leave the room. I say goodbye to my little ones and bring the big brother up to kindergarten.

Before I drive again, I look again and again through the nativity window to see if everything is good with my daughter. She plays in the play kitchen and does not see me. The little boy is still standing at the door? alone. He is crying and hammering against it. He's been crying for 15 minutes.

Does he really stop crying?

I have experienced this many times? really very often? especially in the nursery. Okay, with the separation of the most important person that is also very understandable. The children are sad and show that too. This does not mean that they are not feeling well in the facility or they are not having fun.

But what if they do not stop crying? What if they stand at the door for a very long time, cry bitterly and are not accompanied? What if they are not taken seriously in their grief?

The moms get to hear when picking up, that the child has then stopped right back and are so calm. But what if that's not the case? How much trust can you give to a stranger?

Do not get me wrong! I'm not a particularly suspicious person, and of course trust is the basis for having my child taken care of. I also trust my educators, but there are already very different views on the subject of "crying". I'm also sure the little boy will stop crying, but I wonder what that does in him. Why does he stop crying? Because he resigned?

It makes me very sad, and I can not stop thinking about it. The boy is terribly sorry for me. He is still so small.

What should have been different? What could the mother have done differently?

Questions that I ask, but can hardly answer. First of all, I have to say that I do not want to judge the mother. I do not know how the acclimatization went, how the little man otherwise reacts in everyday life in separation? Actually, I do not know anything about this family. But I felt that the grief of the child was not taken seriously, and if so, then I think that's wrong.

It would be ideal if the little one is not left crying. When the acclimation is prolonged. If he is accompanied by Mum, Dad or maybe Grandma for a long time. But I know that sometimes just does not work. Then it would have been better if Mom had gone straight away, because then he could see her, but he could not to her.

Maybe it would have been better to take the kid out of the situation.Maybe in another room? Because the door was often open and closed, and there were other parents, but not his mom. Surely you should not have left him alone.

My impulse: If he allows it, take the little one in his arms. Comfort him, tell him that it is okay if he is sad. Listen to him. His crying has a reason, and it is important to acknowledge it.
I hope the little boy is fine, and he makes this difficult start.

Text by Senta, originally published on

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Nativity scene, parenting, child care, kindergarten, kindergarten