Proud Single Parents: A mother looks back on what she has done.
This family is about:
Carola Marette, 44, commercial clerk, four children: Yannic and Severin, 21, journeymen ,? Maximilian, 20, trainee, and Lara Desiree, 18, high school graduate
Man away, four children, no money, no job: what do I do now?
Suddenly single parent: As a mother on her own
When my husband moved out, the twins were five, Max was four, and the kid was two. I can not say exactly what the marriage has failed, at least a couples therapy did not help either. Although we agreed that parting would be the best, but then everything went much too fast: My husband cleared a few things from the apartment and was gone? without any agreement in terms of maintenance or child care. I remember the very morning when I brought the grown-ups to the day care center and then went to the youth welfare office with my little one and said: "My husband is gone, I have four children, no money and no job, what do I do now? " Fortunately, a very nice social worker from the General Social Service immediately took care of me. He listened to me, helped me get money, and worked for me for many years, accompanying me through all the crises.
My husband was completely close at the beginning - he was in a deep hole, I think today. He did not care about the children and paid no maintenance, I had to sue. And I had to go back to work. I retrained and found a job, first by the hour, then full time.
Often I got out of the apartment and ran to the lake? to cry and scream
At some point, my husband also contacted the children again, from there they were every two to four weeks for a weekend with him. But the situation remained brutal. The children were alone when they got older and went to school, and I constantly had to go beyond my limits. Often I am out of the apartment and running to the lake to cry and scream. Sometimes I also collapsed in front of the children. And when I hugged her, I did not feel anything, that was terrible: I just worked.
The children also suffer from the missing father
Of course, the children suffered, which was expressed above all in their behavior. My one twin was so withdrawn into himself, no one was reachable anymore, that he was taken out of the family. This has torn the ground from under my feet, I had the feeling: now I have completely failed! But then I got a family helper who encouraged and relieved me as a mother and achieved that my ex-husband - despite new family - still maintained regular contact with the children. From then on, it gradually went uphill, my son came back to us.
Single parent and proud
In the meantime everything has become something sensible, the twins and Max even have their own households. I am grateful for every one of my children - and also for always holding together, for coming home and reflecting well. But it was not until my daughter had reached maturity that I realized: "What did you do?" I had to cry so much.
