Microcheating: Is not even more foreign fliers allowed?

I am a microcheater. I've always been, I just did not know, because the word did not exist yet. The term Microcheating was coined by the Australian couple therapist Melanie Schilling. So it was she who put a stamp on my relationship behavior. One that I find neither nice, nor useful. Because I've been married to one and the same man for almost 10 years now, raise three children with him and still lead a really nice and still very romantic relationship, I owe in my opinion above all the good old "Microcheating".

Microcheating? What is that?

Translated, Microcheating means "mini-cheat". This refers to everything that does not belong in the category of smooching and sex, but is still secretly hidden from the partner. So these somehow a bit too flippant Whatsapp chats, a little flirting at the cash register or even the long-time flirtation with the nice colleague. According to the media again ... er ... the media are to blame. Because in the days of Whatsapp, Instagram and Co, it's so much easier to have "something small" as an afterthought. So so. Even in the days of notes, coffee machines and EDEKA cash registers, I did not find it so difficult to do something "on the side". Maybe I'm just a big microcheating talent and therefore not dependent on chats, postings and co. Speaking of talent ... which I'm sure: In practice. That's because I (since I'm 13) have a lot of fun with men. Yes, in the plural. And that in my opinion does not exclude the great love, as long as one leaves the matter with the great cheating. And I definitely do.



Foreign fliers are good for the soul

Maybe that's not true for everyone, but little flirts are good for my soul. Maybe I'm basically a person who needs a bit of adventure in between. And of course you could now spend half his life on steep walls, suspension bridges and the bungee rope. But I do not mean that. I mean interpersonal adventure. Now imagine how madly presumptuous it would be for me to want to quench this thirst for adventure with my husband alone. He is rather calm, not a daredevil and certainly not the kind of man, the (or me) exciting sexting messages or love-loving oaths write. If he has never been, he will never be, and yet he is the right one. Does that mean I have to forgo any excitement with men? Definitely not. Same way around. My husband has a girlfriend who is very similar to him. Not as emotional as me, not as unobjective as me. Sometimes he talks to her for hours? no comment? just in my opinion totally inconsequential things and I think that's perfectly fine. Because I could not offer him this kind of conversation. That's why he finds them a bit great? given. That does not say anything about how he finds me.



Let's not be more papist than the pope

Do not get me wrong, I think monogamy is a meaningful concept. I want to share my bed with just that one man, and my loyalty belongs to him alone. Still, I do not have to pretend that I do not find someone else attractive. I do not think I have to be ashamed that I sometimes flirt with Whatsapp with an old friend or have very profound conversations about love with a colleague. Nevertheless, I do not have to tie it to my husband's nose every time. Why? Does that have any relevance to him? If I tell him, it may get it and that would not do it justice. I am very happy that we both see it that way. Micro-Cheating is definitely allowed with us. Both behind the back and "in your face". Because we know what we are for each other. And because we know that love can not be held on. With a bit of fresh air from the outside, it certainly lasts longer than in a cage out of fear and conventions.






9 signs that your man is cheating on you and what to do about it (March 2024).