Love: The friends do not like the friend
Great feeling. Life can start. Finally there is one again who shares it with one. The others, my friends, the people who know and love me, will be happy with me.
When the first togetherness rush is over, the new man has a premiere in the world that surrounds us. What's going to go wrong when the most open, funniest and most sensitive man of all time meets a dozen similarly great people?
Critical looks, forced atmosphere
Only: Tanja, the best friend, will not let go of her critical gaze even after the second glass of wine, when she talks to him. Good old Robert regularly supplies him with fresh beer, but he does it always and for everyone. Britta, a chatterbox that never leaves words alone, dances past and only looks questioningly. Seems a happy evening for everyone, only the new, my new, stands out. Everyone treats him kindly and politely, but nothing more.
If the man does not fit in with the friends, you have two problems: The vision of the peaceful small group idyl says goodbye quite abruptly. In their own imagination, they have already planned joint vacations in generous fincas, in reality, partners and best friends can not even sit at an evening table without creating a painfully forced atmosphere. This bothers the harmony in the head, life should be better by the new man and is now suddenly complicated.
Also because the doubt of the friends use their own uncertainty. The pink glasses diminish. Does the dream man have quirks, weaknesses, so great, unmistakable for all, only myself was blinded by love? Or may, may I have to distrust the traditional confidants?
Love needs no justification
Loyalty conflict calls that psychology, like a divorce child you suddenly stuck between the fronts. It becomes very important to first look at yourself and, above all, to trust yourself. Love is a matter of the heart, a most private agreement between two people that does not have to be fully understood by everyone. Certainly not at first sight.
If you fall in love, you need not justify yourself, you do not have to explain or put things right. Because there is only one important criterion in love - one's own feeling. And that is exactly what must be said once, when criticism comes from the outside: we are happy together, I'm fine, and I do not want to hear your nagging now.
Sometimes just wait and see ...
But neither can enforce sympathy, nor does it help to distance oneself from dear people defiantly. You want them all, your friends and your partner. They do not have to like each other, but they should have understanding for the person in the middle, for oneself. Just as they can expect understanding as well.
Sometimes just wait and see. With luck, friends and friends will eventually approach by themselves, one evening at the bar. And two hours later, they will stand side by side grinning together, drinking the fourth beer and reassuring each other how incredibly corrosive they initially felt. Or they argue properly, then the fronts are at least clear.