In vain: "Why? What did I do wrong? ... Am I guilty ?!"
"For most people in our country it is 'normal' to have a child and start a family unintentionally childless But that is not exactly normal; on the contrary. It is a deep longing that drives them, and every low blow brings the foundations? And finally, often the self-confidence? more and more wavering.
Anyone who wants nothing more than to finally get pregnant deserves all support. Actually tormenting one but? in addition to the physical stress? often enough your own scary thoughts and the bitter advice that comes to you.
My name is Franziska Ferber and I was in the fertility treatment for many years. I had to learn that even a 20 percent probability of success means that 80 percent will not succeed. I belong to these 80 percent. I have ? despite all efforts? do not get a child.
"I want to accompany women in this difficult time"
I used to work as a management consultant. After my wish for a child did not come true, I got trained as a systemic coach and specialized in doing this Desire for a child Coach To accompany and support women in this difficult time.
It is time to clean up with the scary thoughts but also the bitter advice from the environment (but unfortunately often enough from doctors). It is time for these women to find support, warmth, compassion and comfort!
That's why I've written two books about my experiences in the time of fertility treatment and my findings from that time: "Our lucky number is the two" and now "Brave by the desire to have children".
This excerpt from my book is about the self-doubts that plague many people when their desire to conceive is not fulfilled despite all the efforts and efforts:
"Why? What did I do wrong? ... Am I guilty?!?
No, you are not to blame. No, you did not do anything wrong. Point.
There is no answer to this question.
Whatever you have done (or have not done) in your life so far? There is no guarantee that you will be allowed to have a child.
In my world, the equation is: If there is no guarantee of success and can not give, then you also bear no guilt.
As a rule, we humans need reasons to be able to accept what we have to endure more easily. For one reason, we are much easier to accept what is unchangeable as it is.
Unfortunately, it is not always the case that there is a reason for the desire to have children. And that's because reproductive medicine and related research is actually a very new medical discipline. In 1978, the first child was born by artificial insemination? that was not so long ago. In other medical areas one has a much longer and deeper understanding of the contexts; in reproductive medicine there are, it seems to me, even more unknown than known factors. Sometimes you know why it is. Sometimes you do not know it. And that makes it so hard.
If you know a reason for something, you may have opportunities to act. I've often thought inside myself that I would basically want a "mini-mini-diagnosis" to every woman (Attention, subjunctive
