"I've hidden my acne and my insecurity under makeup"

Cassandra Bankson suffers from acne. At times, 90 percent of her face and parts of her back and chest were covered in pimples and blackheads. Doctors and dermatologists could help her little. Not only was the US American struggling with her appearance - she was so massively bullied by her classmates that she had to change schools. She was finally helped off the outside world by videos. She learned to cover her acne through videos and was able to look in the mirror again after a long time without detesting herself. Then she changed sides and made her own videos: Her knowledge of the right masking technique and her courageous step to show herself unvarnished made her a YouTube hit.

ChroniquesDuVasteMonde: When did your acne start?

Cassandra Bankson: I had my first pimple when I was eight. I remember that because a girl in my class asked me if he was contagious. At that point, my skin was not really dirty yet, but within a few years, bad acne developed.

How did you feel about it?

It was a terrible time. If you have to listen to each day how ugly and worthless you are, you will eventually begin to believe that. I was also told that it would be better if I killed myself - and all because I had pimples! My self-confidence was in the basement. I retired more and more.

Did not receive anybody's support?

At the time, I did not dare to defend myself. When, in addition to the insults, people started throwing things at me, I turned to my teachers. But they played down the situation - that's how children are. My parents have tried again and again to tell me that the other kids are just jealous of me. This gave me the feeling that my acne was not only a burden for me but also for the people around me.

When did you start covering your pimples with make-up?

I liked to hide at home. There I had a lot of time to surf the internet. As a young girl, I had no idea about make-up because my mother did not use one and at that point I had no friends left to ask. So I looked at videos online and taught myself the make-up. After many failed attempts, one morning I looked in the mirror and saw for the first time not the pimples, but my face. I felt so good that I left the house without being ashamed - a whole new feeling. I could drive a car without fear of looking out the window. I even dare to go shopping again. These were the first little steps that helped me to accept and love myself.

Where did the idea of ​​making make-up videos come from?

YouTube was something like the Holy Grail to me. I did not just learn how to make up in the videos. Many video bloggers also introduce products. Therefore, I quickly knew what was suitable for my skin and what not. When I started making videos myself, I never intended to show my skin without make-up. But I wanted to share my experiences about products to save the community that helped me from doing so.

Why did you then show yourself unvarnished?

I felt very alone then and thought that I was the only person in the world with really bad skin. When I published my videos, I saw a very different kind of humanity. People began to tell me about their own problems and then I realized that I'm not alone. I know what it feels like to wake up every morning and hate yourself. If I had previously learned how to use makeup, I would not have had to experience a lot of teasing. Because I know how awful this bullying feels, I wanted to protect other people from it. It was hard for me to show myself unvarnished on the internet. But the mere thought that even one person could spare these negative experiences was reason enough to put the video on the net.

Is it true that you did not look at the comments in the first four months?

Yes, I was incredibly afraid of hostility. I expected the same reactions as in real life.

One of your first videos was viewed over 22 million times. Why is it so successful?

The video reveals one thing that affects us all at some point: uncertainty. Of course no one wants to reveal that, and that's why you feel when someone else does. The video shows that none of us is perfect.Perfection is just an idea - even in today's world, where so many ideals of beauty are faked to us.

Your new look has even given you the courage to apply as a model. How did the agencies react?

At the beginning of my modeling career, nobody noticed my skin because I was wearing makeup. As my videos became more and more popular and I also appeared on TV shows, I was suddenly everywhere "the girl with the acne". There were a few clients who were reluctant to work with me. Ultimately, however, one has to explain the situation logically: If one stands in front of them and they can not see a pimple, why should that be different later on the catwalk or on a billboard? And arguably the most crucial argument: If it's okay in the industry to keep legs longer, make bodies thinner and hair colors lighter, why should it be a problem to retouch a translucent pimple?

Are you still being attacked for your acne today?

I never returned to the school where I was teased and avoided the people who insulted me back then. But on the internet there is a new kind of bullying that I find scary. Anonymity makes people even more aggressive because they do not have to recognize themselves. I try to ignore those comments, even if that's hard for me.

Recently, you started a make-up brand video project in which you totally make-up. The message is, "I used make-up to hide my pimples and hide as a person, now I use make-up to show the world who I really am." Is not this video a contradiction to your own makeup tutorials?

When I was younger, I did not leave the house unadorned. I've hidden my acne, but also my feelings and my insecurity, under mountains of make-up. That was the only thing that helped me to feel good and to accept me. But over time, I've learned that I'm a lovable woman even with acne. But I first had to learn to accept myself. Make-up was the door opener for me to mature into a self-confident person. At a certain point, I did not use make-up for hiding anymore, but for fun. Like so many other women, sometimes I just enjoy making-up.

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You do not need make-up today to get out of the house?

No! I hardly make up my face again, unless I'm invited or have something important in mind. On average, I make up my hair once a week. And yes, I'm also stared at every now and then, when I go out of the house unadorned. That's okay - I can handle it now. Incidentally, I also realized that I was my worst critic. When I was devastated, I always had the feeling of being stared at. In fact, many people are too busy with themselves to properly perceive the world around them.

Would you encourage other people with acne to use make-up for laminating?

Make-up was a stepping stone for me. Otherwise I would probably never have found a way to love myself. However, nobody should feel that they need make-up to lead a normal, happy life. Make-up gave me the opportunity to face the outside world. Now that I know what really matters, I no longer need make-up to feel pretty. If others are just like me, I wish them that make-up can also open a door to self-confidence. Hopefully, then, they'll quickly realize that it's not about how society sees you. It's all about the inner values.

In the clip "Acne Foundation Routine Flawless Skin," Cassandra Bankson describes how she conceals her acne with makeup. The video has been viewed on YouTube over 22 million times.

IF YOU HAVE ACNE WATCH THIS. (April 2024).