Get rid of clutter and bad habits
I have a bad conscience because I do not do any urgent business
To finally tackle the tasks you need, you need a plan. An example: You want to make your tax return and are inclined to delay.
1. Set a specific time to start. Make a note in advance of all the steps you need to do to get your taxes ready. What is my first step? Sort half an hour receipts?
2. Tell your girlfriend that you're taxing this weekend - you've told someone else about your plan, and it's motivating.
3. Imagine the positive things that are connected with your goal - the tax return - maybe money? The pride of having his stuff under control?
4. Reward yourself for any progress, for example after the fight with the evidence: a coffee break, out for a walk ...
5. Make notes on your progress on a note or diary or check it on a checklist.
Recommended reading: Richard Wiseman, "How to change your life in 60 seconds" (368 pp., 9.95 euros, Fischer, for example, on Amazon
).
I always feel guilty when I say no
Setting clear boundaries is easier if you realize: Usually I am a helpful, generous person. But at this point, a "yes" to myself means "no" to the other. A short, painless no is often the most powerful and effective. Many explanations only challenge the other person for discussion.
Recommended reading: Herbert Fensterheim, Jean Bear, "Do not say yes, if you want to say no, how to maintain and assert your personality" (384 pp., 8,99 Euro, Goldmann, for example on Amazon).
I can not control my disorder
The Japanese clean-up queen Marie Kondo has a simple creed about mucking out: "What makes you happy, keep it, which brings no fulfillment, throw it away."
Make best in this order: clothes, books, papers, odds and ends, memorabilia. Spread all the items in the category in front of you on the floor and then pick up each piece - you'll clearly notice if you like it or not. Anything that fails the sentiment check is donated or goes into the garbage bin or Ebay. This also applies to books, expensive blouses and gifts dear people. Your apartment will be airy afterwards. Guaranteed. Now, if you can create solid locations for the things that stay with you, chances are the order will stay the same.
Recommended reading: Marie Kondo, "Magic Cleaning 2. How to keep your home and soul tidy" (240 pp., 9.99 euros, Rowohlt, for example via Amazon).
I always get into the pitfall trap and turn around in a circle
If one can not stop thinking about certain unpleasant experiences from the past and asks, "What could I have done differently?" the following visualization exercise is a first step:
1. Lie down with your back straight, close your eyes. Concentrate on your breath. As you inhale, say, "I breathe in, I feel calm." Exhaling: "I'm breathing out, I'm feeling well." Repeat this about ten times.
2. Now think about the situation, the people or the memory that you can not let go. Imagine the situation again vividly. Think about what bothers you most about this situation.
3. When the picture is clear, open your eyes. Take a hand and record the situation in rough, simple strokes. Write under the drawing: "I refuse to continue to harbor fears, angry and sad feelings that arise from this situation." Then carefully draw the drawn situation with a black marker in a circle. Consider the situation for a moment - for the last time. Then you crumble the paper together, throw it away from you or burn it. This exercise makes it easier for our psyche to let go.
Recommended reading: Rosette Poletti, Barbara Dobbs, "The Little Exercise Book - Letting Go" (64 pp., 6.99 euros, Trinity-Verlag, for example, via Amazon).
