Funny exercises

Seen in the Löwenbräu tent at the Munich Oktoberfest

Sure, it's very accommodating of spa administrations, innkeepers and hoteliers to translate their texts especially for us into German. And German restaurant owners to translate their food and drinks into the international English language. But a thorough look into the dictionary would sometimes be appropriate. Although: Then we would have much less to laugh on holiday, and that would be a pity. Look for yourself!

Dutch tourism companies have discovered a gap in the psycho-travel sector: The "Furious Apartments" have soundproof walls, padded doors and plastic dishes - no one can hurt themselves, nothing breaks. Please stay calm, dear Furies: "Te huur" is not an offense, it means "to rent".

The Czech "Milan Market" disguises itself as a kiosk. Spies from all over Europe travel by trucks to cover themselves with fake mustaches and magic ink. What do the secret agents do with the branches? Is top secret.

At this snack bar on Majorca you can curl your forehead wrinkles. "Sweet curls" or "salty curls". A sweet mistake: crimping means "crêper" in French.

In the Neapolitan church of San Giovanni there is a "Hedentuche"for which sacrifices are collected at the exit. But which holy Horde has to do with the cloth? ...

In the restaurant Alameda in Tarifa, Spain, a heavy boy cooks the hammer-hard stuff served: various dishes with metal, which are probably heavy in the stomach. The iron-hard explanation: "Plancha" is called iron, "a la plancha" actually grilled. And the shave is a misrepresented marine animal - the swordhammer (navaja).

The Frankfurt restaurant "New China Town" is not one of these standard Chinesethat offer glutamate munch from A4 over B6 to C9. Many dishes are so Chinese that they would rather not have translated, such as the "pig blood rice porridge". The restaurant's true secret of success, however, is its chef, who rips poultry in the kitchen with his bare hands. The brutal result can be read under A128: "Torn roasted duck travel".

The sentence on the sign of a Corsican campsite toilet makes you ponder. What would you have expected by going in? Who or what do you hope to find there? What do you want from toilets? Thus, a stink normal Klogang is upgraded to the philosophical process. Thanks for that.

In the French Banyuls-sur-Mer, the sea is particularly treacherous. In bad weather the phenomenon of the "hollow sea" arises, which puzzles scientists ...

Holiday means above all: not working. Therefore, this sign on Tenerife can bring quite a rest from the rest. Work!! This is not a request, not a hint, but a command, as indicated by the two exclamation marks. The addition "Do not worry" sounds like mockery.

This shop at the "Ballermann" in Mallorca is well sorted and perfectly prepared for German tourists. Memories can also be bought there, if one has drowned his in the sangria. Memories? If we remember correctly, memory in Spanish means "memoria" - and "recuerdos" are souvenirs.

The "trio of the home made ice cream and sorbets"! That's nice, but what three people may the trio consist of? Father, son and igloos spirit? And what do you have to have on the waffle to be admitted to an ice cream home?

A journey into the jungle is extremely exhausting - It's hot, it's wet, and the digestive system is often deplorable. A dealer on the road from Angkor Wat in Cambodia to Trat in Thailand has discovered the market gap and rents out Klos.

Christmas at the Hotel Las Vegas in Tenerife, that's something very special. While one can still imagine the dessert as a kind of Baumkuchen, the brutally trampled salmon leaves only Zerknirschung with the guest ...

Toilet rules are similar and easy to follow worldwide. However, only the "yesterday" is allowed on this quiet little place in a rest stop on Corsica. And today? And what about those tomorrow?

In Italian and French tourists become tourists in the Sicilian Valley of the Temples charmingly asked for a small donation for the often photographed horse Marco.The German translation is very free - and bitter for Marco ...

Not only on the Channel Island Guernsey, there are many stupid stalls that annoy one as a tourist - overpriced souvenir stalls, for example. This stall is especially bad. On the border of the "Scheiss-Stands" threatens danger to life. It is even shot ...

Disreputable and obscene behavior is not welcome in China. So please do not be naughty and always dressed to sit around the campfire!

German visitors to the Danish lighthouse must first hunt the entry and then, if possible, kill at the entrance to enter the tower. Well, lighthouse keepers do not necessarily have to be linguistically a lamp ...

Here, the spa administration of the Carolinensiels on the North Sea has thought something funny, because: Who is not online these days, is finally considered unworldly - and is dependent on the current events. Conversely, this means that who is online, is on a leash, maybe he is even dependent. The spa management has translated "online" so not so wrong.

All photos and texts are taken from the book "Sausages of Hell: Violations - New Language Troubles from All Over the World" (Langenscheidt 2008, 9,95 Euro). The lyrics were written by Titus Arnu.