Does it really need love at first sight?
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde: Can friendship really become love?
Julia Peirano: Yes. There are a lot of relationships that have developed out of a friendly base. It is of course a different style of love that is lived here than if there is a great physical attraction immediately and you are in love from the beginning.
What does it mean exactly?
Actually, if eroticism is or should be in the game, it will be decided in the first few seconds. Then I know: I want to go to bed with him. But there are very different types of love or love styles. And the "Eros" love style based on physical attraction is just one of them. I know people who did not instantly spark it and then fifty years of having a good marriage and loved each other.
If it sparks too much, that is supposedly also not good: couples who land very quickly in bed, is given little long-term potential.
Men tend to want to conquer. And if you make it a bit harder for them in the beginning, that is beneficial for a relationship. If two people end up in bed the first night, the story is actually mostly fleeting.
What has to happen so that truly pure friendship becomes love without erotic background noise?
Sometimes it's actually a magical moment, a romantic scene. Sometimes it's crisis situations where the good friend assists you a lot and you get closer to it. It may also be that the one changes in one direction that the other finds attractive. But why one falls in love with someone, fortunately, does not really work.
They advise women to have a large male circle of friends. Why?
It's good to have men with whom you can go to the opera, have men with whom you can dance, have men with whom you can drink a beer. I know many women who have purely female interests: go to the gym with their girls, watch videos together, paint their nails. They know, in short, not a single man anymore. But it's also about friendship in a relationship. And when I'm friendly with men, it's also something that benefits me in the relationship. I am not so dependent on this masculine confirmation from my partner, because I already know from my friends that I'm a funny conversationalist or look good.
Is it getting harder to meet men at a certain age?
No, that's a pretty stupid form of self-hypnosis. I think that open-minded people who enjoy life can meet someone at every turn. Good are open groups: so not the yoga class every Wednesday at 6 pm, where the same five people are always, but rather an open yoga center, where I always meet other people. My advice is not to actively look for a partner, but to get to know many people about his interests. Of course you have to go to places where men are. If I make gold in my free time, I probably will not meet a man.
Does that mean I'm supposed to go to football, although I'm not interested in that?
No, but there will be something for every woman that makes her fun and where you get to know men too. And if not, then she has to ask herself the question: what do I want with a man?
