"Do not see a child as a last chance"
Miriam Yung Min Stone
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde-woman.de: You were born in South Korea and adopted by German parents. What do you feel when you read Anne's case?
Miriam Stein: A foreign adoption should never be seen as a development aid or even as a rescue operation. But that is not in the foreground with Anne. Still, I think the idea of seeing the foreign adoption as the last chance, if it does not work out with your own child, is very difficult.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde-woman.de: Why do you find that difficult?
Miriam Stein: With this one introduces a sort of ranking list for wishful children. The first place is occupied by the own child and then, if that does not come true, one can still adopt one. The adopted child becomes an emergency solution, which could subconsciously become an issue in problematic situations. Will Anne ever wonder: Would my own child behave like that? Would it have become so difficult? Is his behavior in his genes? I see that critically. It should always be first about the well-being and future of the child, especially with abandoned children and orphans. With an adoption you can not compensate for your own desire for children.
ChroniquesDuVasteMonde-woman.de: If Anne decides to have a child: what should she think of from your point of view?
Miriam Stein: Anne should break away from traditional family structures and forms because her family would not meet these standards. It should be understood that an older child may have some attachment problems and it is very difficult to break them down. But that's just one side. It is also important that these children are allowed to bring a piece of old home into the new life. Therefore, Anne should be intensively involved with the culture and reduce any prejudices. I have long struggled with attachment problems, both in people and in places of residence. Only a trip to my country of birth helped me to reduce this restlessness and to build up my own inner basic trust.
Miriam Yung Min Stein has her experiences in the book "Berlin, Seoul, Berlin - A Journey to Me" written down (Krüger Verlag).
back to the decision
