Being strong is not everything! Sometimes I just have to cry

Strong women show their cellulite on Instagram? I do not let mine snap.
Strong women agree with you? I often do not even have one.
Strong women look forward to a stroke of fate? I have to cry for years every time I accidentally land in the supermarket with the honey. Because the honey always reminds me of my dad.

Well, I'm not a strong woman. But I'm tired of stressing myself and having a bad conscience persuade me. I think I have a right to be weak ? not because I am a woman, but because I am a human.

No, I can not do that!

When I lost my dad in early 2017, that is my heart broke for the first time in my life, and then into several thousand pieces. I still can not understand that he will never answer me again, never hug me again and be there for me. I had so much with him before and would urgently need (!!) at least another year with him! Fate can be such an asshole ...

Nevertheless, I left after a gracious day special leave back to work (the second I needed for the memorial service). Of course I should have said that I can not and need more time. But do it, if your fixed-term contract expires in four months and your boss holds you off for eight weeks, if you're going to run away or have to leave ... (Fun fact: I lost the job anyway? due to business-related job cuts. In retrospect, the best that could happen to me, and one important learning: Backing does not protect against ass kicking, If in doubt, I prefer to put my own needs first ...)

Anyway, my dearest colleague on my first day back in the office kindly took me in my arms and said to me: "You can do it! You are strong!"I know that was meant well and admittedly, only my dad used to hug me during that time anyway, but in spite of that my colleague's words were pretty miserable, not to say superfluous, consolation attempt, I was not strong, on the contrary. I was fragile, powerless and deeply sad. To get said that I could do it, put a sense of loneliness on top of it.

Supreme Rule: Be strong and work

Fortunately, I still had friends and family who understood me better in that situation. But the reaction of my colleague reflects yet a fundamental attitude, which I feel as very present in our society: People should be strong, have a grip, work, pay taxes, buy expensive things and protein bars and solve their problems in the evening in the quiet little room, "An Indian knows no pain, time heals all wounds" and now teeth bite together and shut up!

Being strong is automatically good and always the goal, being weak is bad and what we have to work on, Even though I do not mind the strong and the women celebrating their cellulite on Instagram, I find this review problematic. It leads people to show only their strong sides and moments and hide their fragility. Would we all still live in caves and the food would be scarce, I think it would be appropriate. The weak would finally have to fear being booted out by the strong. But in a world in which we theoretically could afford (and supposedly do) solidarity and compassion? why do we have to constantly make ourselves stronger in such a world than we are?? With this we only put pressure on each other and artificially raise our demands.

Apart from that, why is it so obvious that strong = good? After all, people have joined forces because they are too weak to survive, let alone software programming and aircraft construction. So weaknesses can not be sooo bad and embarrassing. To be weak must also have something good, otherwise we would not be. But no, this fixation on being strong goes so far that we even call it strong, if only we accidentally stand by our weaknesses. Why, why do we have to be "strong"? What is so wrong with "human"?

The good thing about being strong

I'm not saying that we should celebrate our weaknesses and rest on our "humanity". If I have one strong moment have, for example, someone in protection, blaspheming on the other, or my pimples do not bother me, I feel so good myself. On the other hand, when I start to cry at the supermarket when I see honey, I do not feel well. And since good feelings are basically what I want, of course, I always try to react strongly and get stronger. But I want to do it for myself and not for a societywho does not appreciate my strength in doubt (like my ex-employer) or just exploits.

That is also such a problem with this Stark: There is no soo clear definition of human strength, nor of beauty, Today it is strong to say his opinion, tomorrow it may be strong again to renounce it for the sake of peace. Therefore, it is also so problematic to be strong to declare the universal goal of life: Strength is nunmal subjectively and in a way a matter of taste.

Of course, we can admire people for behaving strongly in our eyes, and we would like to tell them that? nothing beats mutual appreciation. But: sBeing tarky is not everything. And the next time I meet a person standing in front of the shambles of a fatal blow, I can simply say to him: "You're not alone, we're leaving your back free."