Be nice instead of fasting: the ultimate 10-point plan
It's hard to admit it ... but I'm not always nice. There are certainly some people who see it differently, but only I know my thoughts and only I know how many times I have been carried away to shame me shamelessly on others. Why? If I really honestly think about it, then probably always from my own uncertainty. Because I felt myself challenged by a conflicting opinion. Because it felt somehow uplifting. Or because I just wanted to belong. That's sad, but honest.
How to learn to be consistently nice in 40 days
The good news is: basically you just have to make a start. Experts believe that it takes about three weeks to get used to a fundamental change in life itself and to integrate it into life sustainably. The 40-day Lent is therefore the best opportunity to practice the thing with the "consistently nice". The 19-day buffer after the three weeks makes sense, because: Especially the last point that "want to belong" is a treacherous thing. As long as the world does not fundamentally change (and that would probably require a lot), one will probably always come back into the situation that one gets involved in revelry. So what if you do not want to join? And what can you do against nasty thoughts that creep in again and again?
Here's our ultimate 10-point plan for a nicer self in 40 days:
1. announce big
Basically, it's like smoking cessation: Who in the circle of friends / in the office / wherever just announces that he or she wants to say in the future only nice things, the pressure to do that actually increases. Maybe even fellow combatants can be found. And it's getting easier. If not help the points 6,7 and 8.
2. All beginning is hard
It's not going to be easy. Not really. Being completely consistent is not necessarily in our genes. Gossiping and blaspheming is (unfortunately) in our blood. OUCH! So do not be too strict with yourself. There will be setbacks (you better forgive yourself quickly and learn from it)
3. Make aware that you harm yourself
It's kind of crazy, but most of all you hurt yourself with negative thoughts and stupid talk yourself. Quickly you seem awkward to others, besides, you get a bad mood from the little bad conscience, which then nibbles on you.
4. Place the guiding idea well
In the wallet, on the fridge, on the desk ... the mission is hard enough to need small keepsakes. How about a post-it, on which your new Indian leitmotif stands? "If you have not walked 1000 miles in each other's moccasins, you have no right to judge him."
5. Understand the brain
As the psychologist Stefanie Stahl says: "The brain has the tendency to go negative again and again if you leave it to yourself when thinking about it." Noting mistakes ensures our survival, so it's quite normal for that to happen. " So do not leave it alone and always consciously focus on the positives of others.
6. Just talk good, not bad
Whenever you feel the impulse to say something negative about a person, quickly emphasize something positive instead. This not only helps you to keep it, but silently silences the other blasphemers without you having to lift your finger. On "Did you see the ugly hat of Jana? Just embarrassing!" one can confidently say: "I noticed Janas nice dress!" reply. That is not even a lie, if you found the hat itself terrible.
7. Use the Switzerland principle
When the others talk badly, it's fine to stay out of it. Possible statements are then: "I can not judge that, I know too little about it" or "She will have her reasons for that, which I do not know." Switzerland is also not unpopular because it keeps out of many international complications.
8. Charmingly disarm
You can show even clearer edge by simply including yourself in the category of blasphemer. To stay with Janas cap: "Do you think I find my hat much uglier, but it is mega-warm and warm." This is so disarming that the bullying attack comes to an end very quickly.
9. Do not play the missionary
For all your love of your own mission: you should stay your own. Nothing is more embarrassing than the idea of not only wanting to change yourself but everyone else. It happens automatically that the world around you gets a little better. You should just trust that ...
10. Enjoy your new shine
Also an Indian wisdom: Your thoughts are a reflection of the world.The less you get excited, the more you raise yourself, the mean things you think, the more beautiful the world around you becomes. The best side effect you've earned after 40 days so honestly: You'll be as beautiful as never before. Promised!!!
